Generous listening

This morning I endured one of the most excruciating one and a half hours of my life in the form of an immensely boring department meeting, during which I was trying my very best to "listen generously".

During the meeting a young colleague, whose wife has recently had a baby, commented that the start of semester had gone very smoothly for IT Services. Eventually, after a lengthy soliloquy, the IT Director replied that she was pleased that this young chap had made such a comment, upon which she mentioned his name. I do not think that her comment warranted a response, yet when he failed to do so she brought it to everyone's attention, asked if he was off in "babyland" and told us all that we must be aware of the difference between "generous listening" and "stingy listening".

An hour and a half later I had decided that those who wish others to "listen generously" should also speak generously, which in fact means the opposite of how it sounds, that is to speak succinctly. Such speakers should remain aware of the time that these generous listeners are investing in their listening, place the appropriate value on that time and respect it accordingly. As such, I have combined my own guide to public speaking, or speaking during meetings.

1. Do not use more words than is necessary to convey your point.
   Most writers understand this one. However, it is a little more difficult to put into practise during speech as you can't really edit your words after you've said them. Perhaps just put a little more thought into what you wish to say before you've said it.
   
   
2. Do not give your listeners more information than they need.
   Be aware of who your listeners are and what their viewpoints and roles are. Keep this in mind when deciding which information to impart to them. Time is precious and they have important jobs to do, and if you happen to be their manager then you really want them to do those jobs. So don't waste their time by telling them little side stories about the politics of your last board meeting. Don't tell them about all the effort you've put in to get a particular result; they expect this from you anyway. They only need to know the facts.
   
   
3. Do give them the opportunity to find out more information if they are interested.
   This might be in the form of questions following your presentation or speech. In a large group, however, this might only interest a small number of your audience. Be respectful of the others, particularly if they are the majority. This is especially pertinent if the meeting is a mandatory one and the attendants are not necessarily there by choice. If you are presenting a document, don't read it to your listeners. Give them the gist (a verbal executive summary) and make the document available to them to read in their own time.
   
   
4. Don't talk about all the things that could have or would have happened; just talk about what has or will happen.
   Whilst I'm aware of the potential irony here, this is really just another way of saying points 1 and 2 above but with a specific example.
   
   
5. Don't use a long word if a short one says the same thing.
   Long words and flowery language do not make you sound clever, just really boring. This makes it much harder for people to listen generously.
   
   
6. Do not interrupt the main speaker, even if you are his superior.
   Interruptions and interjections make the speaker's speech longer, which in turn makes it more difficult for people to listen to. If the speaker makes a mistake with a relevant detail, then correct him in a non-condescending tone. Do not interject just because you like the sound of your own voice and think the listeners might too, and do not continuously argue an irrelevant point with him just because you hate to be wrong and think he should respect his superiors.
   
   
7. Assign approximate portions of time to each of your points before you start speaking.
   Before the meeting decide what it is that you wish to talk about. Then prioritise each item. Take the length of time that you will have to talk, being mindful of possible interruptions and divide it proportionately amongst your items, allowing more time for the higher priority items.
   
   For example, let's say you have four items you wish to discuss during a one hour meeting, one of uber-importance and three of lesser but equal importance. You know the Director will also want to speak for a short while, and each team leader will give an update. Let's assume this leaves you with approximately 35 minutes. Take away between 5 and 10 for interruptions and corrections from the Director, and questions from those of your listeners who are actually listening generously. You have 25-30 minutes. You could speak for 10-15 minutes on your uber-important item and approximately 5 minutes each on of your remaining items.
   
   Do not present your listeners with a document consisting of approximately 18 items (although the exact number is unknown to them) and then proceed to spend 6 minutes on the first item, no matter how uninteresting or irrelevant. This will only serve to fill them with despair and they will stop listening generously in order to plan their escape from the room.
   
   
8. Spreadsheets and Word Documents are not interesting material for display on a projector.
   This applies even if the spreadsheet has coloured lines.
   

If anyone has any further suggestions, please leave a comment.